3) What You Are Going to Be, Melody
Sep. 16th, 2013 07:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starjargonAmy's Thoughts on Naming Her Daughter
She couldn’t give her much. In fact, she could barely give her anything other than tales of a father she hoped she’d one day meet and the unwavering motherly love she prayed she’d always feel. So, this was it. Her one shot. The one thing that she could bestow on the unexpected miracle in her arms. A name. It had to be perfect.
When she woke up in that dark tube, alone, terrified, and in more pain than she’d ever imagined possible, she thought back to the picture that could never be. Where she was holding a child. Her child. Their child. Their daughter. The one she didn’t understand. Who’d cried to her for help. Who she should have run to and embraced but instead shot at. Who still came back afterward and found her once again. Who stared at her with Rory’s eyes and her nose and pleaded desperately for help from the same woman who had nearly killed her. That beautiful girl who didn’t deserve to be alone, but had been strong enough to escape the monsters.
When she first held her in her arms, she couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face, and she realized that the sudden flash would one day become the picture in her daughter’s shabby, dingy room. But, it didn’t matter; she was planning to rewrite time.
Amy knew she had to do right by her. She had to give her a name that meant something, even if it was only to her, because when she got her baby back, and she would get her back, she would tell her daughter how special she had always been- right from the beginning. She needed a name to ward away the coming pain in both their lives. That would fit that courageous little girl in Florida.
She began to think of everyone she knew, hoping to steal a worthy name off one of them. Though Amelia the second sounded tempting, she suddenly felt unworthy of the honor that that bestowed moniker would come with. The Doctor would’ve wanted her to name the baby after him, but how impractical and cruel would that be to her little girl? Fleetingly, Amy realized she didn’t even know her best friend’s real name- but now was not the time for such thoughts. Rory wouldn’t ever approve anyway. Roranica also briefly trickled across her jumbled, rushed mind.
She thought of her mother- sure, sassy, and easy to be around. A mother who she had barely known in another life. No, too close to the situation at hand. Tabitha was out.
Then there was the ever-present Aunt Sharon. Who had been strict and kind but had always tried to talk her out of her “delusions” and who had given up shouting for her when she was 7 and hiding in a museum. No. Her daughter would not be like that. Not ever. She would be strong, and would accept people’s differences, and always come back, and never give up on the people she loved.
Amy strongly considered naming her daughter after her time-traveling, adventurous, feisty friend River Song. She was definitely someone to admire. She was flirty and funny and courageous and never one to back down. Amy almost did it. She imagined a little River Pond, running around in the TARDIS, causing mayhem for the Doctor that he would secretly love. But, Amy knew so little about River, and River barely knew her. Would she think it presumptuous that a girl she had spent only a few months with named her child after her? And, what about all of River’s secrets? She had killed a man- was in a maximum security prison because of it. She never had said who, only that he had been a very good man. That legacy didn’t bode well for her little girl. Another thing was the backwards-ness of River and the Doctor’s relationship. Amy found it incredibly tragic. Yes, she decided. River was someone she hoped her daughter could be like some day. But, she never wanted her to experience the heartache that that woman had or would.
Then the obvious choice came to mind, and Amy mentally slapped herself. There was only one person in her life, well, female anyway, who was worthy of her daughter. Mels had never laughed at Amy for her obsession with the Doctor. She had never been sarcastic when she asked questions about her imaginary friend; in fact, she was the only other person who insisted he wasn’t imaginary. She had been so instrumental in Amy’s life. It was because of her that Amy kept the faith in the Doctor all those years. Mels had lost her parents too, though she still never gave any details as to how. But, unlike Amy, her parents didn’t come back after the Pandorica. Mels never seemed to resent it though. Just clung to Amy and Rory like they were all the family she ever needed. She had that same feistiness Amy admired in River- always finding trouble and extremely unapologetic about doing so. And, even though it seemed Amy was constantly scolding her or bailing her out of trouble, she also appreciated the fact that Mels always called her first, and automatically trusted she would come for her.
Mels also tended to show an uncharacteristic patience around Amy, always leading her on to something better or bigger. It was at her “nudging” that she first realized her feelings for Rory. She had believed her when Amy said she remembered a world in which she was alone in her big empty house. She had gone to the store with her for the test that had initially confirmed this pregnancy. She was always so loyal and so sly and so outrageous. And, though furious her friend would steal a bus just for kicks, Amy was no angel herself. She too could never resist a locked door or a challenge or a good time. Her human best friend fit her so completely and was so, well, cool. Exactly like her daughter would be. She would never regret her past, she would never back down from a fight, she would break the rules that needed to be broken. She would be loyal and loving and funny and just the right amount of pushy. And Amy would love her and Rory would love her and she would love the Doctor and the Doctor would love her. She would be just like the friend who had always been there for her for almost as long as she could remember. She would be downright heroic.
Yes, Amy decided, giving her daughter her final gift. A name that, to her, meant fearless and surprising and faithful. Because the baby girl in her arms really was the song that would help her get through the coming dark days. Her own little Melody.
She couldn’t give her much. In fact, she could barely give her anything other than tales of a father she hoped she’d one day meet and the unwavering motherly love she prayed she’d always feel. So, this was it. Her one shot. The one thing that she could bestow on the unexpected miracle in her arms. A name. It had to be perfect.
When she woke up in that dark tube, alone, terrified, and in more pain than she’d ever imagined possible, she thought back to the picture that could never be. Where she was holding a child. Her child. Their child. Their daughter. The one she didn’t understand. Who’d cried to her for help. Who she should have run to and embraced but instead shot at. Who still came back afterward and found her once again. Who stared at her with Rory’s eyes and her nose and pleaded desperately for help from the same woman who had nearly killed her. That beautiful girl who didn’t deserve to be alone, but had been strong enough to escape the monsters.
When she first held her in her arms, she couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face, and she realized that the sudden flash would one day become the picture in her daughter’s shabby, dingy room. But, it didn’t matter; she was planning to rewrite time.
Amy knew she had to do right by her. She had to give her a name that meant something, even if it was only to her, because when she got her baby back, and she would get her back, she would tell her daughter how special she had always been- right from the beginning. She needed a name to ward away the coming pain in both their lives. That would fit that courageous little girl in Florida.
She began to think of everyone she knew, hoping to steal a worthy name off one of them. Though Amelia the second sounded tempting, she suddenly felt unworthy of the honor that that bestowed moniker would come with. The Doctor would’ve wanted her to name the baby after him, but how impractical and cruel would that be to her little girl? Fleetingly, Amy realized she didn’t even know her best friend’s real name- but now was not the time for such thoughts. Rory wouldn’t ever approve anyway. Roranica also briefly trickled across her jumbled, rushed mind.
She thought of her mother- sure, sassy, and easy to be around. A mother who she had barely known in another life. No, too close to the situation at hand. Tabitha was out.
Then there was the ever-present Aunt Sharon. Who had been strict and kind but had always tried to talk her out of her “delusions” and who had given up shouting for her when she was 7 and hiding in a museum. No. Her daughter would not be like that. Not ever. She would be strong, and would accept people’s differences, and always come back, and never give up on the people she loved.
Amy strongly considered naming her daughter after her time-traveling, adventurous, feisty friend River Song. She was definitely someone to admire. She was flirty and funny and courageous and never one to back down. Amy almost did it. She imagined a little River Pond, running around in the TARDIS, causing mayhem for the Doctor that he would secretly love. But, Amy knew so little about River, and River barely knew her. Would she think it presumptuous that a girl she had spent only a few months with named her child after her? And, what about all of River’s secrets? She had killed a man- was in a maximum security prison because of it. She never had said who, only that he had been a very good man. That legacy didn’t bode well for her little girl. Another thing was the backwards-ness of River and the Doctor’s relationship. Amy found it incredibly tragic. Yes, she decided. River was someone she hoped her daughter could be like some day. But, she never wanted her to experience the heartache that that woman had or would.
Then the obvious choice came to mind, and Amy mentally slapped herself. There was only one person in her life, well, female anyway, who was worthy of her daughter. Mels had never laughed at Amy for her obsession with the Doctor. She had never been sarcastic when she asked questions about her imaginary friend; in fact, she was the only other person who insisted he wasn’t imaginary. She had been so instrumental in Amy’s life. It was because of her that Amy kept the faith in the Doctor all those years. Mels had lost her parents too, though she still never gave any details as to how. But, unlike Amy, her parents didn’t come back after the Pandorica. Mels never seemed to resent it though. Just clung to Amy and Rory like they were all the family she ever needed. She had that same feistiness Amy admired in River- always finding trouble and extremely unapologetic about doing so. And, even though it seemed Amy was constantly scolding her or bailing her out of trouble, she also appreciated the fact that Mels always called her first, and automatically trusted she would come for her.
Mels also tended to show an uncharacteristic patience around Amy, always leading her on to something better or bigger. It was at her “nudging” that she first realized her feelings for Rory. She had believed her when Amy said she remembered a world in which she was alone in her big empty house. She had gone to the store with her for the test that had initially confirmed this pregnancy. She was always so loyal and so sly and so outrageous. And, though furious her friend would steal a bus just for kicks, Amy was no angel herself. She too could never resist a locked door or a challenge or a good time. Her human best friend fit her so completely and was so, well, cool. Exactly like her daughter would be. She would never regret her past, she would never back down from a fight, she would break the rules that needed to be broken. She would be loyal and loving and funny and just the right amount of pushy. And Amy would love her and Rory would love her and she would love the Doctor and the Doctor would love her. She would be just like the friend who had always been there for her for almost as long as she could remember. She would be downright heroic.
Yes, Amy decided, giving her daughter her final gift. A name that, to her, meant fearless and surprising and faithful. Because the baby girl in her arms really was the song that would help her get through the coming dark days. Her own little Melody.
