A Mysterious Summons

[starjargon]

A/N: This was my very first Fanfic, so please be kind- let me know how I can improve, as I have a MAJOR project planned if I can get enough feedback on what I need to work on or on what works.
All quotes belong to Steven Moffat’s brain and the BBC.

“A mysterious summons, you think I’m just going to go?”

He refused. When she came along, he knew he wouldn’t be going within a hundred years of where she was asking. He loved a mystery. He had wanted to follow through so badly he could taste it. But then he saw her. And he remembered. Another summons. Another time. Another body. And how that turned out.

He couldn’t do it again.

The idea she would once again be put in danger by being near him- with him- turned his blood cold. He had actually considered it, when he first walked into the café. Him, his Ponds, River Song, and a mysterious beckoning- how could he resist? She was the first person he’d noticed when he came back from getting his special fizzy straw. He of course greeted Amy and Rory first, quickly, then just as quickly turned to approach her slowly, enjoying her presence. From what little he did know of her and from all he could guess, she was no more an angel than he was.

And he loved it.

He’d decided to try his hand at flirting with her. By worlds, not even a slap could detour his body from once again focusing on her. Briefly, he had considered actually taking her where she wanted. But when she followed Amy downstairs, clearly upset, he drew to mind the picture of her in the café with barely concealed tears, and whispering, “Spoilers.” And suddenly the picture changed to a similar, though far more horrendous scene. She was strapping herself into a chair, saving him, even though he hadn’t the slightest idea who she was or would be to him.

And it made him angry.

And conflicted.

He was already attracted to her, lightly touching her whenever he could get away with it. Unconsciously his body automatically faced her at every opportunity, turning toward her, leaning into her, looking her for reassurance, and always before he looked at anyone else. It always took a moment longer to make his body turn from her, even to respond to someone else. Constantly he stood as near to her as he dared. But the more he felt himself pull toward her, the more determined he became to repel her. He couldn’t change what had happened- she wouldn’t let him.

But he could try.

If she could only see how dangerous he was, if he could only push her away, if he could get her so angry she would never want to see him again, she would live. She would never sacrifice herself. He would never feel this bittersweet guilt every time she was near. And, because he was a selfish, self- centered old man, he could even convince himself that it wouldn’t count if she changed their history. But that mysterious, sexy, incredible woman he had already begun to admire and cherish just stood there, face a mask, and let him cut her deeper and deeper, never reacting as he had hoped she would and yet never ever wanted her to. He used his words to tear her down, but remained unable to break her.

It terrified him.

And captivated him.

So, just this once (as he said to himself every time she was involved) he used his little Amelia as an excuse, and led that fantastic-no- amazing woman, capable of more love, mystery, and trust than he’d ever dreamed of earning, closer to her fate. Because no matter how hard he tried, when it came to her, he couldn’t run.

Comments

[peonygreenhand]

Well, I really enjoyed this. I love your interpretation of what the Doctor may have been thinking when he saw River again. I honestly don't have anything to suggest to improve as I am only getting into writing Doctor Who myself, mostly just drabbles featuring 10 and 11 at the moment.

Thank You

[starjargon]

Thanks for reviewing and the kind feedback! Good wishes in your writings.

[amphigorym_2011]

Well if you hadn't told me it was your first piece of fan fic, I would've never guessed. And actually, I just now realized that 11 would KNOW how River was going to die because he saw her die as 10. So he'd always have that memory in the back of his mind whenever he saw her.

One of the down sides of loving someone who's time stream is moving in the opposite direction to yours. And frankly, it's heartbreaking. Which is a compliment, btw.

Thanks for the compliment

[starjargon]

Glad it turned out so well, I was so nervous when I posted it! I think that what makes River and the Doctor's relationship is that they both have seen the other's end but have to live through their presents with a smile (11 mentions River of course always knew about Trenzalore, she was probably there at his real final moments, we just never see them). So it always gives extra emotion when picturing an earlier Doctor who's too scared to become attached to her but knows he one day will, and that he's wasted all that time he could have become close to her because of her fear.

[jjpor]

"From what little he did know of her and from all he could guess, she was no more an angel than he was.

And he loved it."

And that is the crux of the Doctor/River fascination right there, I would say, certainly from his point of view. ;)

Thanks very much for posting this to who_at_50 - I hope we will see more from you. And for a first effort, I would say you've got off to a very good start indeed.

Thank you for the review

[starjargon]

I do love their dynamic, despite any protests about River Song, the Doctor is definitely not a hero, so they match in that they're both willing to do what is necessary even if it's not always right. I love both that and their out of sync timelines.

I hope to be posting more, and I'm glad my first fic worked out better than I had dared to hope.

[a_phoenixdragon]

This was lovely!! And I can't believe it was your first fanfic! My gods, this was moving! And so beautifully written! Well done, sweetie!!

*HUGS*

Well, I'm glad it came out alright

[starjargon]

Thank you for taking a chance and reading it! I was so nervous to actually post something that very first time. Thank you for the encouragement!